I spent a lot of last year broke, hungry and single. Sometimes extremely broke, not that hungry and quite single. Other times I wasn’t too broke, and only kind of hungry but ridiculously single. Then there were the times when, well, you know what - it varied, let’s put it like that. It wasn’t always fun but it was very often educational. For example, I discovered that having a Fanta Fiesta for lunch, for some reason, is more satisfying than Fanta Citron (I think it has to do with the artificial colouring). Also, as a result of the weight loss, I’ve made the surprising discovery that I do in fact, have cheekbones! This bashful little shadow that for years had been fought back by Snickers bars and Cheerios is now cautiously appearing at the corners of each. Seriously, do you know how much bar of Snickers or a box of Cheerios costs in this city? A lot. A whole lot. Now, as for the singleness, I’ve been doing it for a while now so, I didn’t learn too much in that regard.
In any case, as interesting as the experience has been – now, I’m over it. This year I want a fat wallet, a stuffed fridge and a… umm… I don’t know… perhaps singledom wouldn’t be so bad if I was rich and well fed. Actually – I suppose, I could simply marry a rich man who enjoyed taking me out for dinner and buying me Ferrero Rocher and in that way, kill three birds with one diamond ring! …but how boring would that be? Besides, I don’t really like diamond rings.
That settles it. Becoming a self-made billionaire is the only way to go.
Unless… no. No. It’s the only way.
Okay, I’m off to make my fortune. I’ll be back in a few weeks.