A Traditional Rwandan Wedding

TekeBottleA few weeks (or possibly a few days) before the my sister’s Gusaba, someone came up with the idea of putting together a brief text describing the history and meaning of a Gusaba ceremony. The reason for this was my sister was marrying a man who wasn’t from Rwanda, and the text would help him and his family better understand the ceremony, which mind you, was going to take place in Kinyarwanda, as well. The task of creating the document was assigned to me, and it sort of evolved from a description of the Gusaba, to a summary of all our marriage ceremonies and traditions. I had to keep it short – it was on two sides of a single A4 – so there was a lot I had to cut out. I created it initially by copying, pasting and editing information I found online. I then presented the draft to knowledgeable friends and family who made several additions and amendments.

I thought there might be a few people out there who might be interested in reading this, particularly those who are simply curious about Rwandan culture.

Please feel free to comment if there is something you believe is missing or incorrect. 

The little data that I managed to collect I found incredibly fascinating and I would love to learn more. Ideally, in the comment, put the source – e.g. grandmother, uncle, Google, etcetera… or simply put ‘Source: my own massive brain’.

One of my sources was an 2007 article from The New Times that I found online: Gusaba in Rwandan culture by Ignatius Ssuuna – www.newtimes.co.rw/news/index.php?i=1317&a=442.

Without further ado – below is the text as it was given to the groom’s family that day – enjoy!

A Traditional Rwandan Wedding

Marriage has always been a very important cultural institution in Rwanda. Prior to and after the wedding ceremony there are a number of traditional practices that take place. The nature of these practices have changed over time, with several ceremonies being combined to take place over a shorter period, however many elements remain as they were hundreds of years ago.

Kuranga

Many couples began with a relative of a bachelor pointing out a young lady as a potential bride for him. This was known as Kuranga which translates directly as, ‘to announce’. The bachelor’s family would then select a man as their representative to be the Umuranga who would act as the go-between for their family and that of the bride to be. His role included intensive research on the lady including her ancestry as well as the conduct of her relatives in society.

Gufata Irembo

Following the research, the bachelor’s father would go ‘gufata irembo’, literally, ‘to take the gate’. This was when the father of the potential groom, or a special envoy selected by the family, would visit the girl’s father to declare the intention of his son to marry their daughter. If the girl’s father accepted, arrangements would be made as to when the introduction ceremony, the Gusaba, would take place. Gufata Irembo still takes place today.

Gusaba

‘Gusaba’ is the Kinyarwanda verb ‘to ask’ and is the ceremony where the Umuranga officially requests for the daughter as a bride. The Gusaba is a battle of wits often involving traditional tongue-twisters as well as riddles and pranks from the girl’s side. The family of the would-be bride, as well as the people of her neighbourhood, were all consulted as, the welfare of children, even in marriage, is the responsibility of the community.

Gukwa

If the Umuranga was successful in Gusaba, the next phase would be the Gukwa – that is the payment of the dowry. The dowry was always strictly a cow, or several cows. Once the negotiations were over, the bride’s side would invite the groom’s side to share a drink. Then, before the groom’s side left, they would often be given a drink known as Impamba which they were to enjoy along their journey home. In modern times, if one side has travelled a great distance they may even be invited to share a meal together with their future in-laws before they return home.

Gutebutsa

After the Gusaba and Gukwa, the families would meet again to discuss the date of the wedding – this was known as Gutebutsa. In modern times, this is often done privately between the bride, groom and their immediate families without involving as many parties. 

Gutinyisha

Traditionally, before her wedding day, a bride would spend several weeks in seclusion being cared for by one of her aunts. During this time her aunt would give her advice on how to take care of her future family. The bride would also undergo intensive beauty treatments including daily applications of perfumed cow-ghee with special herbs to give her softer and smoother skin. She would also adhere to a diet regime reserved for brides. 

The Wedding Day

On the day of the wedding, a bride would be seated in a traditional carrier known as ingobyi. The ingobyi would have two handles which would be placed on the shoulders of two strong men who would carry her to the groom. After arriving at her groom’s home, she would be taken inside and a special banquet in honour of both the bride and groom would be held. The banquet would include traditional Kinyarwanda dancing and singing. 

Gutwikurura

The final ceremony is known as Gutwikurura. The wife’s family would visit her at her new home and bring a number of items to help her settle in. Prior to this, the wife would not have been seen in public and would have completely refrained from any work. In this ceremony, the wife would make a meal for her family and in-laws for the first time. 

At the end of any visit to a Rwandan home, including this one, a host would often offer their guests Agashingura Cumu – which literally means ‘that which pulls out the spear’. In the past, men would travel with spears and before entering a home they would pierce them into the ground outside the entrance. The drink would symbolically give the visitors energy to pluck out their spears. 

The wife’s family would then journey home and the young couple would begin their new life together.

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27 thoughts on “A Traditional Rwandan Wedding

  1. Very well summarized!

    The following are additional observations, personal comments and opinions garnered from the four weddings I ever attended an conversations with my parents and my grandmother.

    Kuranga actually also means to “hook somebody up” as seen this context.

    Gutebutsa, I always found a funny word, means “to hurry things up”

    Gutwikurura means “to unveil” or “to uncover” as the bride has been hidden all the time until this ceremony takes place.
    The Gutwikurura also involves a moment where the new couple feeds children with Ikivuguto (sour milk ?). These children MUST have both parents alive, and I have not understood exactly why.

    (I once witnessed a very rude woman chasing a little girl from the room where they were giving milk to other kids. The woman said: “get this orphan out of here, quick!”)

    • Wow – new info! Cheers!!

      Regarding the Gutwikurura, I think what that woman did was very cruel. I can only guess that the background to that stipulation is to symbolise that the new couple’s children will not become orphans. That said, I think the way that woman spoke and behaved towards that little girl was extremely unkind… there are some things which cannot be defended by simply claiming you are upholding tradition.

  2. Wow, wakhoze cyane sha.
    This is so helpful to remind us BanyaRwanda in Uganda of our ancestral roots and background. i dearly appreciate.
    Imana ighue umugyisha mwiza. :)

  3. Thank you so much Akaliza for this information. It is so helpful and interesting. I am always interested in learning how different cultures do those things. Your article is wonderful. I have two questions, if you could give me an idea, please.
    1: Often I see people from Rwanda wear a ring on the middle finger or two rings(middle and ring fingers). What does that mean?

    2:The wedding day you mentioned after the Gutinyisha, is it the traditional marriage only or would it be the same for people getting married at church?

    Thank you! I will check back for the answers.

    • Hi Stefy! I’m glad you enjoyed the article so much :)

      Regarding your questions:

      1. As far as I know, this is purely a fashion choice – but if there are any Rwandans reading this who know of any other reason why someone here would wear a ring on their middle finger, feel free to enlighten us.

      2. The wedding day I mentioned is a traditional wedding. Nowadays, most people would have a civil ceremony in the morning, the religious (church) ceremony during the day, the wedding reception in the late afternoon or evening, and the Gutwikura that night.

      I know – phew – that’s quite a packed day for the bride and groom!

  4. Pingback: Rwandan genocide survivors | Wedding Photography | Studio33

  5. My relatives always say that I am killing my time here at web, however I know I am getting experience every
    day by reading such good articles or reviews.

  6. Nice summary Aka. Few comments:
    1. Reason why Rwandans wear the ring on the middle finger is because it is considered the engagement finger thus the engagement ring and on the other finger(which i dont know the name) only goes the wedding ring. But i really don’t know why it is done so.
    2. there are other ceremonies that come after gutwikurura namely:
    * Gutekesha (dont know if it is the real name): the grooms aunts & sisters help the bride prepare the first meal
    * Guca mu irembo: like gufata irembo, now the goes back to the bride’s parents to show that they have a solid home
    * parents both for bride and groom visits: the parents then pay a special visit to the new home to ensure that the home is solid but more emphasis is on the bride’s family.

    myths say that before all these initial visits the bride is not allowed to go to her parents house alone. (hope i’m not wrong somewhere because sometimes it becomes confusing… lol)

  7. Can someone tell me how does the bride dress on her wedding day including accessories and the historic purposes or reasons for wearing them. I am doing a school project and i would be glad if someone can help me with these things.

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  9. In the gutinyisha ceremony…..Lol I’m almost afraid to ask what cow-ghee is. Another interesting post. Now I know more about the ceremonies. :-)

  10. the one who asked abt the ring on the middle finger; its the ring of fiancaille, in modern rwandan marriage this ring is given to the bride in gusaba ceremony as the symbol of love and (a caution if i can say so… so that everyone would know that the girl is abt to get married). and the second ring will be given to the girl in the church ceremony
    thank u akaliza! u did a grt job to keep our culture alive.

  11. I am a Zambian dating a Lady from Rwanda so you can imagine your site worked like a well of wisdom for me. Am excited to hear more contributing comments to keep my intentions alive and correct. Thank you Akaliza!

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